WHEN GOD SEEMED FICKLE

by: MyRh3ma 

 

When our path first crossed with Giancarlo’s, he had been hospitalized for three weeks in three different hospitals, without any doctor anywhere close to finding out what’s wrong with him.

All kinds of tests had been performed to find out WHY Gian’s lungs, stomach, and kidneys contracted infection that made them swollen, while several different kinds of antibiotics (from general spectrum to targeted) did not seem to provide any relief for his 2-month-old body. All tests, including HIV test, proved negative. During those three weeks, Gian had to experience living in a feverish roller coaster: his body temp hovered in 39-40 degrees centigrade, lowered for some time with medication, but it would immediately shoot up again.

When we saw him for the first time, he seemed so fragile, small, and frail. Although Gian and his family were complete strangers to us, our hearts were immediately moved to help him get the best possible treatment.

We first knew of Gian’s existence and his family’s plight through a broadcasted message on Blackberry Messenger, a mobile instant messaging platform that is so common and widespread in Indonesia. The message was for a fundraising effort for Gian, and we received it from a friend who wanted to send a significant amount of funds. Since they live out of town and not within driving distance, we were asked to verify the truth of the story.

There’s a quote from McPherson that kept on repeating itself in our heads: “True Christianity is not only to BE GOOD, but to DO GOOD.” And the call by Pastor Jeffrey to take an active role in “standing the gap”, we decided to extend a helping hand for Gian and his family.

Then we met Gian’s dad, Gerson—and we asked him, “Do you have the means to take Gian to Singapore? Hospitals there should have a higher standard of care and better equipments.” In a flat tone, with a tired face, he answered simply, “We don’t.”

“Can we perhaps help you in raising the funds necessary to bring Gian to Singapore? We are not wealthy ourselves, but we know people with means who want to help. Although right now we only have ‘five loaves of bread and two fish’ for you, we believe that HE will make a way for Gian. In His way, in His time. As long as He wills it, Gian will be able to go to Singapore.”

“Sure,” was another short answer—mixed feelings playing on his face: a little suspicion, lots of confusion, and layered around everything: skepticism. Understandable, of course, considering this statement and offer came from a total stranger that he had met only that day.

Our conversation then continued and it gave us a better picture of the circumstances of Gian and his family’s condition:

Gerson and Zani, his wife, first noticed something was wrong when Gian was one month old. It started with a simple cough and a mild fever. Which then escalated to wheezing and difficulty breathing, so in the first hospital they went to, Gian was put in isolation room.

At the time of our meeting, Zani was also hospitalized because she fell sick while caring for her baby. Since giving birth, she hadn’t rested properly and had to accompany Gian from one hospital to the other. They had exhausted all their savings for Gian’s treatment, and she decided to stay in a second grade public hospital, which was situated quite a distance away from the hospital where Gian was.

Doctors in the second hospital they went to had advised to bring Gian to Singapore, rather than risk moving Gian to another hospital in Jakarta. But Gerson and Zani had no extra resources to do that—Gian wasn’t covered by health insurance yet, Gerson’s insurance doesn’t cover his family, and Zani is a stay-at-home-mom. 

They had pawned their wedding rings and Gerson’s motorcycle’s certificate for Gian’s treatment in the first two hospitals. Their extended family was also not in a position where they could help shouldering the burden of the ballooning costs. 

In this third hospital where we met, which cost Rp 8 million/day (equivalent to USD 800) for Gian’s ICU and medication, they were relying solely on the kindness of strangers. By this time, funds had started trickling in from people who were moved by the message (which, we found out, was broadcasted by Gerson’s work colleagues—completely without his knowledge at first).

We made a rough estimate for the costs: evacuation with air ambulance, living expenses and accomodation for family members—a minimum of three persons, medical and hospital expenses. The total came down to a minimum of  IDR 500 million (or USD 50,000.-).

 

The air ambulance only, would cost USD 16,500 one way. We did not take into account the loss of income from Gerson’s extended stay in Singapore (since Zani was in no condition to be going with Gian). We did not take into account the long term costs for Gian’s continuing care in Indonesia.

“I nearly fainted when I heard the cost estimate from the doctors,” Zani said to us when we visited her, “where else would we find the money fo continue paying for Gian’s treatment?” She was very weak at that time.

“Let us act in faith, then. The Lord God that we worship, with only five loaves of bread and two fish, could feed five thousand men, with twelve baskets of LEFTOVERS. Now that there’s no one else that you could rely on, why don’t we rely on Him as our only hope?” Was what we said to them.

They agreed, although we didn’t know what they truly felt in their hearts at that time. We asked them to pray in faith and see what God can do to bring Gian to Singapore.

The amount of money needed had seemed like an insurmountable obstacle. To not make possible donors back out when they heard of the amount, at first we told them that the family only needed 50 million rupiahs (USD 5,000). We thought, sedikit-sedikit tapi lama-lama jadi bukit (little by little, with time, it becomes a hill—or, little things will add up). 

Never mind 500 million, when we mentioned the words “fifty millions”, the common response that we got was, “HOW on earth can that amount be gathered?”

To that, we answered diplomatically, “HOW on earth did Moses divide the Red Sea to let the Israelites escape from Egypt?”

We started then. We knocked every door we knew, including a few members of the Democratic Party's convention. Funds started coming in, from our efforts or from the snowball effect of the previously broadcasted messages, we never knew. We didn’t have to know. 

What’s important was that we reached our first target. Praise be to God. But of course it was still far from enough to get them to Singapore. We made it a point to visit them daily in the hospital and to pray with them, to keep their spirits up and to keep on believing.

There were many stories from different people who contributed to this cause: one person cancelled his overseas vacation plan so the money can be redirected for Gian’s cause. Another person gave despite having barely enough to scrape by. Another person, a mother, offered her frozen breastmilk if it was needed for Gian.

All of a sudden, like a current that gathers speed as it travels, from all parts of Indonesia—Palembang, Medan, Bali, Malang, Jakarta, Bandung, Pontianak—help poured in en masse from people who didn’t knew Gian nor his family before. The goal was almost reached. But the miracles didn’t stop there.

On the third day since we first started our fundraising, Gerson told us that a person came up, a donor who resided in Singapore, and she was committed to cover ALL medical expenses incurred in Singapore until Gian had recovered. How did she know about Gian? Only from seeing Gian’s frail body pictured in her bank officer’s profile page on Blackberry Messenger (who happened to be Gerson’s work colleague), she was moved and committed to help. Without being asked to. She volunteered.

We asked ourselves, is this the act of us humans?

What an amazing and awesome God! His ways truly are beyond our thoughts.

1 Corinthians 2:9
However, as it is written:"What no EYE has seen, what no EAR has heard,and what no human MIND has conceived"- the things God has prepared for those who love him - NIV

One problem—the biggest one—had been solved, now all that left was Gian’s evacuation.

Then the second problem arose, which was the matter of Gian’s passport. Since the idea of taking Gian overseas was so out there and nearly impossible for the family, they had never processed Gian’s passport. Never mind his passport, even his birth certificate was not yet ready at that time.

Only after a week since the Singaporean donor appeared did the matter of Gian’s documents get solved. It took quite some time to process the documents and the back-and-forth communication between the hospitals and medical personnel in Jakarta and Singapore.

Tuesday, 8th October 2013. The time had come for Gian to finally be evacuated to Singapore. It was time for water to be turned to wine. What had seemed impossible for us, now took an unexpected turn into possibility and hope, with God. It seemed that truly, five thousand men were about to be filled with just 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Gerson and Zani were the one most awed—from pawned wedding rings to an opened path to Singapore?—they never thought it in a million years.

Ambulance and air ambulance were ready, ALL looked fantastic.

But that Tuesday morning, God displayed yet another sudden turn of events.

We used to be wary of God—we thought that He is unfathomable, that many of His actions are unreasonable and impossible to understand. Thus he seemed fickle to us—and we’d question, is it really His will to make us as His playthings?That Tuesday morning, again God showed His fickle side. 

 

When ambulance and the plane were all ready to go, Gian’s conditions suddenly turned critical. His oxygen level which had stayed normal in 85, even after enduring a check by the evacuation medical team, suddenly dropped to 47. Before it went back up to around 85, evacuation could not proceed.

We truly needed to go back to our faith to understand all this. God had kept Gian in His care for those 4 long weeks, but now when the time seemed ripe for a final miracle to happen, He suddenly seemed to relinquish control… WHY?

We chose to keep BELIEVING in His providence, in His mysterious ways, in His time—eventhough admittedly we didn’t understand where His will was leading us. In this situation we chose to keep believing that God is good, all the time—and we could only pray.

After all efforts to get the oxygen level back up to 85 proved vain, Gian’s family had to make a tough decision: either they keep Gian in Jakarta and wait for him to stabilize (or he might also pass away), or stay on track and get him to fly to Singapore, despite all risks. 

They chose the latter.

Then came a series of challenges in moving Gian to the air ambulance plane. First challenge was moving Gian from the hospital ward into the ambulance. Things went swimmingly. The second challenge was to move Gian from the ambulance to the air ambulance that had been waiting in Halim airport, Jakarta. This, too, passed without any incidents.

After the plane had taken off everybody seemed to heave a big sigh of relief and cheered, as if at that moment water had really turned to wine. Zani who stayed behind, and Gian’s other family members, even managed to laugh in relief as we travelled back from Halim to our respective homes. Nobody was prepared when the news came two hours later.

Gian died on the plane.

God willed differently, and His mysterious ways willed Gian to return home to heaven. Our first reaction was WHY? When God had moved the hearts of so many people, WHY NOW? When He had kept Gian in this world for those 4 long weeks, WHY NOW? When He had given us all hopes in our hearts, WHY NOW? WHY?

Grieving, we threw this WHY question to a few friends, and many wise answers came back:

“God GIVES, God TAKES AWAY,” David said.

“To live is BLESS, and to die is GAIN,” Meta said.

“Men can never comprehend God’s actions”, Raymond reminded. “Knowing and understanding another human being is already difficult, how much more difficult it is to know and understand the CREATOR of humans?”, Uncle Yudha added.

And the answer that sounded like a soothing balm for us was, “God so loved Gian that He is going to care fo Gian in heaven (SurGa), not in SinGapore.”

Whatever answer you came up with, we’re certain the story of Giancarlo’s life had made an impact not only for his family, but for all of us. Giancarlo had fought the good fight, he had finished the race, he had kept the faith.

2 Timothy 4:7
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I  have kept the faith.

In his pain and suffering, he had never wavered. He was a source of comfort for his parents, even in his sickbed. Born pure, he was called home pure.

In the two months of his life in this world, Gian had touched countless hearts. Countless lives had been taught and reminded of God’s love and God’s providence in our lives.

Wednesday, 9th October 2013  Gian flew back home. To us, his homecoming  was worthy of a hero’s victory march—he had fought bravely, brilliantly, and his passing was into the embrace of God’s love. His story will forever be etched in our hearts, and his fight will forever be a solace and a reminder for those people who are fighting—against a disease, an illness, a life-changing problem—that God is good, and His way is eternally good.

Goodbye, Giancarlo… our love and our prayers be with you.

For further reading: a donor’s account of Gian’s story and a tribute.